Secondary Silence Read online

  Well, fuck. If it’s going to kill me, “Yeah, let’s not do that again,” I had to agree.

  Before I could leave the kitchen, Thad made his way through to the dining area and I immediately felt like myself again. The rush ran its course and I was thinning out, no longer in need of muscles that I haven’t had in forever.

  There were still unanswered questions and I wasn’t getting anywhere with Thaddeus. If I was going to find the information that I needed, I was going to do it myself.

  Chapter Five

  Thaddeus

  The bullshit myth that vampires don’t sleep couldn’t be farther from the truth. We sleep with the intention to renew our strength, although I have been sleeping to relieve it. Chasing the constant leads that threaten my livelihood and the only thing important to me, has created mass hysteria amongst the hierarchy; my hierarchy.

  Ashley was never supposed to find out this way. I never wanted her to know that she was at risk of losing everything, again. Her first life was the fault of many, this one is mine to protect. I need her more than she needs me and it scares the hell out of me.

  Kicking my shoes off, I want nothing more than to sleep a dreamless night. Everything I have shown her until now, has brought me closer to my goal. I will find him and I will end this.

  The pillow softens as I lay back on my bed. The stucco ceiling reveals patterns within the texture. I watch as the patterns change with only one thing on my mind. Days grow old as time never ceases. My entire existence was nothing more than a feeding frenzy, a slaughter house full of empty veins and decay. Living for nothing more than my next fix was that of a newborn. Many say the phase in which a vampire turns to when a vampire regains their humanity lasts only a few years.

  I proved them wrong. I faltered in the systematic ways of the lore. My humanity evaded me for almost two centuries. Two hundred years I spent moving from city to city, wreaking havoc on unsuspecting victims that wandered down the wrong street at the wrong time.

  Pulling the pillow over my face, I try to repress the guilt that seeps from my skin as I remember the last person I wanted to kill; the one that got away. I was no different than a meth addict. Without a source, there is no threat but I was faced with the one thing that could make me crumble. The blood flowed through her veins as I watched the color drain from her face. I was nothing more than a monster in that moment and I was sated.

  Ashley changed me, but now I worried that it wasn’t enough.

  “Fuck this,” I mumbled as I pulled myself to the edge of the bed, holding my head in my hands.

  Thinking back to the run-in with Ashley, there is no reason for any of this. I have killed vampires before, out of necessity, and I have never become the one thing I wanted to destroy.

  “Thad,” Ashley’s voice reminded me that she was still here and I had been doing the right thing.

  “Hey.” She stood in the hallway behind the closed door.

  I could hear her hair slide through her fingers as she nervously chose her words.

  “I guess, good night,” she whispered without coming in to my room.

  Did I want to continue a conversation with someone that sucked the life from me? There was no question, I did. Not tonight, though.

  “Good night, Ashley.”

  Footsteps would not follow her movement as she disappeared. I could feel her as she moved away, leaving me to my own recluse. I can’t lose her and I will make damn sure that no-one takes her from me.

  I push my palms against my eyes in hopes that this is all a dream. It is my dream, my reality and I am not ready to give it up. She changed my life, I couldn’t let her go, yet.

  The lights dim as if they recognize me. Looking around, there is a room full of swollen arteries and flowing blood. Fifty-six beating hearts. Fifty-six reminders of my lifetime in hell. Fifty-six reasons why I should slaughter everyone in this church just to prove a point to the believers. Fifty-seven bodies. I am convinced that they don’t believe I exist and the thought brings a smile to my face.

  “Why are you smiling?” A young blonde stands next to me emotionless, staring straight ahead. Although, I couldn’t see them her eyes locked on the rose-colored box being brought to the front of the room.

  “I want to drain the life from everyone here; including you,” I say, less for shock value and more because I fucking mean it. The smell of death was intoxicating.

  She turns to look me as I look away, “Well, don’t let me stop you.”

  Her footsteps are peaceful and elegant as she walks away from me. No-one walks away from me. Who the fuck does she think she is?

  “Hey,” my voice echoes off the walls and colored glass encasing the vaulted space. She doesn’t stop moving, unlike the others attending the little gathering. I look over to an older man before pursuing her, “You should thank her,” I say pointing to the bitter blonde standing near the front, “she may have just saved your life, old timer.”

  Leaving him to process that tid-bit of information, I watch as she stops only inches from the chrome detailed box, leaving me no choice but to stalk towards her. I can hear the whispers behind me as I pass. If they only knew the truth that I have no fucking idea why I am here. I saw a church and I walked in. Vampires are allowed in the church, as well. We sin the same as any other asshole asking for repentance, only we need more than a prayer for forgiveness.

  The blonde stood front and center while all eyes were on me. She was the one I yelled at, yet I am the one they are gawking over?

  “Did you hear me? I said I was going to…”

  “Kill everyone in the room?” She never turned around to answer. She stood perfectly still as I stepped next to her. “Yeah, I heard you. I just don’t care.”

  Silence filled the room as I tried to get her to look at me. This time I wanted to see her; I wanted to remember her. Her unblinking eyes were covered by wisps of hair, absent of any kind of emotion as she spit my intentions back at me. It was only then that I realized she was different.

  “If you want to feast, start with the front row. They are only here for one reason and one reason alone; to look good. They never loved me. No-one did.” She turned around to face the crowd of people that were staring directly at me.

  The pastor, dressed in the full church garb, grabbed my elbow, “Sir, please take a seat. We are going to begin the service.”

  This guy has no idea who he is messing with. I have already planned on killing everyone in here and he is only speeding up the process.

  My mouth opened but the words didn’t come out; they couldn’t. Behind my next meal was a picture, a sight that I will never forget. The most beautiful woman I had ever seen.

  Her red lips grinned as she glanced towards the ground. Wavy, blonde hair danced behind her shoulders as she did the one thing that I don’t remember doing. She was enjoying the moment. “I know her,” I say to the pastor.

  “Ashley Swan. Lovely girl.” He reached over to the casket, placing one hand against the box and the other crossing his chest.

  “I just saw her, she was standing right here.” I pointed to the floor beside me. I want to turn away but I can’t look away from the beauty in her picture.

  “Son, she passed in a fire. She is with our savior, now. Please, have a seat.”

  I wasn’t here to attend a fucking funeral. I was here to feast like the monster that I am. This girl was nothing more than an inconvenience to my plan. I grabbed the silver cross from her casket and anticipated my actions towards the judgmental sinners.

  The church painted itself red as I turned to the weeping souls. Their blood pumped faster while they cried. I could smell the fear of death within their last breaths. The thoughts that passed through my mind were appetizing and horrific. Bleeding bodies mounted to the ceiling tiles as I walked through the thick crimson rain, drinking droplets as I passed beneath their stilling hearts. Feeding from the weak and fallen as the screams cease.

  “Don’t do that!” With the sun radiating behind her like a glowing an
gel, I lost my appetite. Standing at the door, under the archway of the church, rays of gold surrounded her while she begged me to stop. “I saw it all. Please…”

  Staring in to her eyes, I looked back over my shoulder to the picture. The happiness that she had once felt was gone. Sorrow and pain was all that she had left for the people here and I didn’t like it. The cross fell from my hand as I realized what she was doing here. I now know what I am doing here.

  My legs moved on their own as I closed the gap between us, leaving the pastor and the grieving in my wake. When I was close enough for only her to hear me, I tried to explain, “Ashley, I am a dangerous…”

  “Vampire?” She finished my sentence in a whispered tone.

  “Yeah, vampire. I am not a good one, either. Not like the ones you see on TV or in the movies.” I waited for her to either disappear or respond. I wanted to turn around, to take in her picture again, before she vanished. For the first time in a hundred years, I wanted to remember something, anything. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her as she grinned and looked to the floor, mirroring the vision I just had of her.

  None of this made any fucking sense. One minute I want to slaughter a church full of funeral attendees, the next I want to help this girl that I had just met. I am losing my damn mind, since she is a fucking ghost. No wonder I was the only one that everyone was staring at, I was the only one here.

  “I am a ghost, I take it?” Her eyes looked up to me as if I had all the answers. That’s when it hit me. That was the moment everything changed and I was no longer protecting only myself. She is meant to be mine.

  Great fucking timing.

  “Yeah, you are a ghost. Unless, there is someone else that wants to crawl back in to the body in there.” I point towards the chapel.

  Her laugh was only heard by me, draining my body of the darkness that I carried for two hundred years. The corners of my mouth twitched as I nodded.

  “I can handle you,” she said with a smirk.

  Then everything went black.

  Chapter Six

  Ashley

  I saw it all, everything he just relived through the memory of my funeral. There were missing pieces that only I could fill. The look on his face when he escaped the torture of his past, the immediate trust I had in a man that shouldn’t be trusted and the day the color of his eyes changed. Black turned violet with the finality of his own perfect storm. Amethyst strands weaved their way through his iris, breathing a new life in to the murderous vampire that threatened to tear the throats from my family and friends.

  My vampire.

  Saying good night was my way of saying good bye, sadly. I was going to find the answers that he refused to give me. The last time I was outside of the gates of his home, I was leaving one life and starting another. Tonight, I would return to the danger of the outside world with little expectation of returning home. Preparing for the worst was the only thing stopping me from leaving without saying good bye.

  Easily passing through the walls of the house made my escape easy. There was protection within the walls of his property, unlike the place I needed to go. Fear drove me to Thad, hope was taking me away.

  Standing at the rod iron gate, I took an unnecessary deep breath and let my eyes close. It was now or never and I knew there was little time to break free from myself.

  “I am coming with you,” Thad’s voice reverberated within the stone walls. “You are not leaving me.”

  Stilled and shocked, I didn’t move. I waited for him to open the gates and pull the car up. The sleek black exterior matched the color of the midnight sky as I admired the beauty in something so simple.

  “Are you going to get in?” Without the need to open the door, I took a hovering seat next to him.

  “You don’t have to do this.”

  He sighed as he pushed numbers on a keypad, illuminating the opening of the gate. I watched him as he finished setting the alarms on the house. I had no idea that there were so many security systems in place. He had to do this every time he left the house and I had no idea why?

  “I do this for you and yes, I do have to do this.”

  Crossing the threshold of our home, I was going to start giving directions, but the roads are different. Buildings stood where there were none, businesses lined the streets and people went about their night as if we didn’t exist.

  Watching the trees pass by as we moved closer to the edge of town, Thad took a quick right down a dirt road. I wasn’t familiar with anything any longer, so I was thankful for his navigation. Dirt roads turned to gravel and the forks forced us one way or another.

  “I haven’t been there in forever,” I attempted to start a conversation while he accelerated and slowed down through the darkness of the night.

  He didn’t respond while I gazed out the window. When I opened my eyes, I was standing on the road, alone. There was no longer a car and no Thaddeus.

  Laughter filled the empty void that the country acres provided. I rolled my eyes as I waited for the lesson to be taught. I was starting to accept the fact that these episodes were going to come whether I wanted them to or not, but I still didn’t like what I saw when they hit.

  Breaking through the trees was a handful of boys; six of them. They all pushed and hollered at each other as they moved along their path. All dressed in the local high school football jerseys and jeans, they trampled the wild flowers growing in the fields.

  “Do it. It will be funny, man,” one of the boys from the back jogged to the front, pointing to the leader’s cell phone. The antagonizing didn’t stop as they laughed about whatever they were encouraging. I waited and watched as they tripped over the metal bars buried along their path.

  “Nah, he isn’t worth it,” the teen went to pocket his cell phone as the rumbling of the engine moved closer. The silence of the woods was inundated with a roar as a bright light began flickering through the trees.

  “Our ride is here,” one of the others spoke up as he tucked in his shirt. The group stopped and waited for the train to move closer while the leader opened his cell phone again.

  Approaching at a faster speed than I had expected I watched the boys prepare to run alongside of the moving train cars. The boy on the phone was feverishly typing on his cell while his friends started yelling at hm.

  Without responding, he grinned while his thumb hovered over the screen. I watched as he contemplated his next move, whatever that was going to be.

  Train jumping was a sure way to die and I knew for a fact I was going to watch it all happen.

  Before the young man could finish up on his phone, I watched as it fell from his hand followed by the torturous screams from his friends. Looking to his buddies, covered in blood splatter and bone fragments, I saw the glow of the screen illuminating the blades of grass where he once stood.

  Two of the boys were frozen in place as the others wiped what remained of their friend from their skin. I pinched my eyes closed as I waited for it to repeat, as the last visions had. Balling my hands to my eyes, I hope the tears that threatened would subside until I knew what just happened. I had to focus and the empathy was too much. I just watched a teen lose his life to stupidity and reckless behavior.

  “Do it…” My eyes fly open, not wanting to miss anything. As they make their way towards me, I decide to try and prevent it. I had to do something if I was going to watch the souls sucked from someone so young and new to life.

  He stands still as he stares at his phone with the look of the devil in his eyes. Whatever he was looking at, there was no good to come from it. For a split second, I found myself not wanting to help him, but that isn’t who I am nor what I was sent to do.

  The train siren blared as the boys shouted the order to start running. The boy smirked as his thumb moved closer to the screen. In slow motion, his thumb print was threatening to send a message. I couldn’t see what he was saying, but I recognized the colored bubbles filled with words.

  Only millimeters from sending the message, an arm re
ached out, stealing my attention from the screen. The moment didn’t last long enough for me to stop it. The arm that extended from nowhere, not only ended a life, but it belonged to me. Another me, but me all the same. I pushed the young man to his death. I did this.

  His body wrapped around a metallic wheel before severing his corpse in to pieces. The carnage continued to multiply as each wheel, from each car, passed over the limbs and organs that were standing in front of me only moments before.

  My mouth wouldn’t close as I stood there, unable to do anything but watch as a mother would no longer say good night to her son, a friend would never receive another phone call from him, a football would go uncaught - all because of me.

  I glance to the ground below at the blood coated screen, leaving few unsent words for me to see, “…miss you…be happy.”

  Those words would never be seen by the person that he missed. They would go unsaid to the one that needed happiness in their life, all because I ended it.

  “Ashley, you are crying. What’s wrong? Where did you go?” Thad ripped me from the emotional hell that was plaguing me. These are only getting worse as I see them. I grip my head, pushing hard on my temples in hopes that, I don’t know, I can make them all go away.

  “I am seeing shit. Things that I shouldn’t because it isn’t real. It feels real, but it isn’t. It can’t be,” I say as he pulls through the gates of the place that I needed to be.

  “Rivermore Cemetery,” he says as I start to regret my decision to do this.

  Chapter Seven

  Ashley

  Statues line the driveway, protected by the rod iron fences that match the perimeter. Like houses, mausoleums fill the buried ground with families left all in one place. I was left alone and forgotten as I had always been. The car came to a stop along the gravel tire tracks. The engine quieted, leaving only the sounds of nature and death to fill my ears. Climbing from the seat, my eyes were focused on the stone angel, perched above the marble maker. I couldn’t see what it said, but I knew it was mine.