Secondary Silence Read online

  There are things that I was told I would forget in time, but I want to make sure that there is beauty keeping me grounded to the real me. The person that I saw ripping apart an innocent man was enough to make me never want to fall in to the trap of sin and sorrow. I watched as a man burned to death as I had. The fate that I was given could be considered a gift, since Thad easily could’ve turned out to be a monster like the rest of the blood thirsty scum in this city.

  I have only encountered a few of his kind while Thad entertains. The parties and the smell of iron permeates the air as you’d expect from the home of a vampire. Following one of his welcoming events, I was forced to endure the mass quantities of blood, thirsted for and digested in whatever way it was consumed. I do not venture out past the gate. I could leave if I wanted to tour the area and risk being seen by a random stranger with the same gift that I had been given but there is safety in not knowing.

  I play it safe, I always have, that is why these visions are so out of the norm.

  As I pass the row of lilac bushes planted near the back of the garden, I pass my hand through the violet colored petals that match the color of Thad’s eyes. There has to be more to the nightmares that I am enduring, but finding the link is going to be a real pain in the ass.

  “Ashley, I have to go. There should be no visitors and the gate will be locked. If anyone shows up, they don’t belong here. Stay away from them, do you understand me?” He says as he maneuvers through the garden as I wait for him to come to me.

  Vampires are weakened by the sun, rather than bursting in to flames. That was one of my first questions for him when I found out what he was. Back to the movies and all of the shit that we are told as kids, I was shocked at what I thought I had knew and the false safety that the sun provided. I didn’t believe in vampires, but I saw spirits, leaving me with some sort of reality that included one of everything.

  “Are you listening to me?”

  “Yeah, I’ll be fine. I haven’t left yet, why would I?” I reminded him as I compared his eyes to the lilacs, again.

  He shakes his head as he kneels to pick a few stray weeds from the path. Something is bothering him and it drives me crazy when he doesn’t talk to me about it, but it’s usually for the best.

  “I shouldn’t be long. A few days at most.” He tosses the failed flowers in to the bucket at the back of the garden.

  “What’s the big deal? You have left before and everything has been fine. What makes this trip so different?” I had to ask. He was hiding something and I didn’t like the way he was acting. I mean, I was hiding something and I assumed I was acting just fine.

  “Just be careful. If something doesn’t feel right, it isn’t, okay?”

  He was starting to scare me with the cryptic message that he was trying to hide from me. I wanted to ask more questions but that would’ve been pointless because he wasn’t going to tell me and I was smart enough to know that.

  “Okay. I’ll be here when you get back.” I felt the need to reassure him that I was not going to disappear overnight.

  A smile crossed his face as he ran his fingers through his hair. Beneath his lips I could see his fangs begin to extend. It didn’t happen often and I wasn’t afraid of them anymore, but there was more to this occurrence. They only make an appearance when he is hungry, horny or ready to fight. Asking which of the three was bothering him would never get me the answer that I wanted, so I didn’t even humor the question.

  With a deep breath and a second glance in my direction, he quickly made his way down the row of mums.

  “I certainly hope so…” he whispered as he left me alone in the garden.

  “Ah…” I stopped myself as I had heard him question my loyalty. I was his and he knew that I couldn’t leave. Now, he thinks that I would pack up and run without notice. Whatever he was thinking, I was going to prove him wrong. I will be here when he gets back and I will have the answers that he needs from the visions even if I have to admit it was me causing the massacre.

  Chapter Three

  Ashley

  The gazebo is the perfect place to disappear in to my own personal hell. If I was going to find clarity, I need to be in the right mindset. As I pass through the screened door, I feel my nerves begin to calm. White sectional sofas line the perimeter of the glass encased haven. Small end tables decorated with fresh flowers grow from the terracotta pots that I had picked out to match the throw pillows and flooring.

  The rising sun glows through the aged stained-glass ceiling, casting abstract reflections of blue, red and yellow. Having lost the ability to feel temperature changes, I remember frosty winter days and the warm summer nights. The rainbow color rays dancing across the room helped me forget about the reasons that I am out here in the first place. What I really needed to do was focus on the fact that I was causing death in an unforeseen past, present or future. The problem is that there is no way for me to know what I am looking at without Thad force feeding them to me. The only thing he has seen is the convenience store clerk; the one I mutilated as I watched helplessly. Having had the car accident vision without force, I knew I had to start there.

  Getting comfortable, well as comfortable as a ghost can get, I decide the couch would be the normal thing to do even though it really didn’t matter. The memory of the soft foam below me was enough for me as I closed my eyes and hoped for the best.

  As my nightmare flashes behind my lids, the flames continued to taunt the sky with the yellow tips of their end. I watched as the blue burned the hottest from the base of the fire. Trying to drown out the screaming family, I closed my eyes and listened for anything to clear my conscience. As it stood, right now, I just killed a man and a baby while I sat on the side of the road content with my actions. I don’t give a fuck who I think I am, I deserve a fate worse than hell for killing a baby.

  I had to clear the tears from my cheeks as I tried to forget about the body count and more about the surroundings. Focus, Ashley.

  Having nothing to go off of, I was left to see whatever was thrown at me. I normally have direction, a part of the story, this time I have nothing. I shouldn’t say nothing, I have a drunk driver. Before I could stop it, the vision went dark and I blinked back to the driver pouring the caramel liquid down his throat. I was watching and reliving the crash again.

  Maybe this wasn’t the intention that I had, going in to the sequence, but maybe I could see what I had missed. I knew I was going to be dizzy while he recklessly crossed the yellow line. He raced past the moving vehicles on the right as I watched and focused on the man. Waiting for the family van to come closer moved in slow motion. I saw the look on the dad’s face before I saw anything else. Mom was reaching back to the little boys in the back, readjusting the strap on one of their belts. I refused to look them in the eyes. I needed to separate myself from the humanity of the situation.

  The car seat kept my attention as the drunk fuck turned hard to the left. I closed my eyes and embraced the impact. Again, I find myself on the side of the road with the family, breaking a little piece of my heart off each and every time I look to the burning engine. Why does this have to be real? Why can’t this be easy?

  I could feel myself start to wake up as the darkness pulls me deeper.

  80’s rock booms from the oversized amps lining the stage. There was a cover band, fit with the long Van Halen hair and marker for eyeliner dancing across the front of a slew of screaming women. The girls reached for the stars as they hoped for the chance to be let back stage to meet their rock gods.

  Having never had a life as a teenager, I wondered what it would be like to meet some of the greats of my time. They weren’t as flamboyant as the ones entertaining the female libido, but I now wonder if I would’ve felt the same way.

  There was nothing abnormal about this situation. Concert, music, food, beer and a lot of screaming fans made the ambiance of rock and roll real. As much as I wanted to sit back and enjoy the guitar riffs blaring through the speakers, there was a reason that I
was here and thank fuck, here were no children.

  The lead singer was kneeling down in front of a teary-eyed fan as the music slowed and the lights dimmed. It wasn’t exactly the best music for my reason to be here knowing someone was going to die, but the moistened vagina in the room was a telling sign of the love song I was to expect.

  Having done it before, the harmonic voices echoed through the room only causing the girls to scream louder. The whispers of forever and the promise of love was enough to make these women pools of hormones. I wasn’t sure what I was waiting for but I sure as hell hoped it was almost over.

  The crashing bodies jarred the stage causing a cymbal to fall from the drummer’s ensemble. The bass player rushed over to fix the drum set by placing the stand on the raised platform. Not a single note was missed as the high notes were hit and the girls went crazy. I watched as they fought for the attention of the band or the guards.

  Without warning the stage buckled, sending the lead singer in to a rolling spin towards the end of the stage. As he tried to catch his footing, a spotlight snapped above him, sending it crashing in to the dry ice strategically placed at the front of the band. Without anything to grasp on to, he flung his arms around, trying to avoid the fire that was starting to flicker.

  There was no way to prevent the sudden flicker of the lights throughout the venue as the breakers started to reset and the women began to scream. The smell of singed hair permeated the area leaving the only thing left of the man they had all come to see. The scent of death and rotting flesh.

  My eyes flew open as I watched the man fight to stay in this world. There was no way he made it although the girls begged for it to not be true. The repulsive stench that permeated my nose was enough to make me gag. I was dead, yet he smelled so god awful.

  “What in the fuck was that?” I said as I sat up on the cushions. I grabbed the nearest potted plant, breathing deep the intoxicating floral aroma in hopes of clearing the man from my insides. “Ugh.” I could only imagine my body decomposing like old meat on a hot summer day but I liked to think it was exactly the way I chose to remember it. Dressed in my red sequence dress, ready for the night of my life while I paired it with a pair of strappy heels. My blonde hair pulled into a messy bun, yet curled to perfection. There was nothing like dressing up with nowhere to go. I miss my life but I am happy with the after-life. Well, I was happy with the after-life.

  Fucking Focus, Ash.

  Accepting that there was no way to escape the singed carcass or the smell of fresh death, I needed to go back in. Returning to the same place on the couch, I make a cross over my chest, as I had as a human, and hoped for the best. This one was not as bad as the others I have been haunted with, leaving me less freaked out. What I didn’t see coming was what I was met with when I closed my eyes.

  Chapter Four

  Ashley

  It was too late. I was too late. The sun had set as I regain my footing within the gazebo. Falling would do no harm, but the human side of me refuses to let me become anything else.

  Without a plea to the wind, I start through the darkness of the garden as I wait for Thaddeus to return. There was only so much that I could do and I wasn’t sure where he was going. I only hoped to God that he didn’t see what I just did.

  Only once had I projected a memory to Thad. He was strong enough to send them to me but I was weak in comparison. Only recently have I been able to syphon enough energy to tell him the time without words, much less share an entire…

  “Ashley,” I heard Thad’s voice echo through the driveway as I stilled at the edge of the garden.

  “What are you doing here?” Ironically, I stared at him as if I had seen a ghost. “You aren’t supposed to be back for three days.”

  “I have been home for an hour, looking all over for you.” Panic caused his forehead to wrinkle as his breathing slowed the closer he marched towards me.

  “Why did you come home early?” I was still dumbfounded by his early arrival.

  “What are you talking about? I left three days ago, now I am home.”

  Before he could say anymore, I lifted my hand to his face. There was no fucking way I was out for three whole days, was there?

  “Are you okay, Ash?” I could feel him and the difference in his presence. The closer he came the stronger I felt; almost like an energy being passed from person to person. My fingers twitched as he reached for them. His hand stopped just short of my hand, dropping to his side in defeat.

  “I saw it. I saw your vision. Why did you show that to me?” He looked as confused as I did in that moment.

  “How do you know it was me? Maybe it was someone…”

  “Cut the shit, Ashley. I know it was you. What I want to know is why and how, while you’re at it.” He wasn’t budging.

  “I don’t know why. I laid down the night you left and I woke up just minutes ago. I was deep in a vision for three days, Thad. I don’t know what is going on.”

  He ran his fingers through his hair before looking back to me, “How do you know the man from the vision?” Fear may have been something I felt as he asked.

  “I have never seen him before and I don’t think I ever want to. Do you know him?”

  “Yeah, I know him and I plan on killing him if he ever comes near you,” he said as he looked over his shoulder towards the shadows.

  “Is he here?”

  “No. He won’t come here.”

  “If what I saw is correct, he certainly will come here. I just don’t know how it ends,” My words become whispers as I tried to push the feud from my memory.

  As if to console me, Thad lifted his hands, as if to place them on my shoulder, “You are safe here. I have made sure of it. But as you saw, there is more to your fate than you may know. You saw the vision from your point of view, but I saw it from mine and you and your abilities run deeper than you can imagine. I need to figure out what it all means.” He took a deep breath and turned to the house. “I hope you know that I won’t let anyone hurt you, right?”

  I do know that he would keep me safe. I know that he was incapable of letting me be placed in harm’s way, but this was a different kind of war. This wasn’t a kiddie fight on the playground. What I saw, was vampire royalty and the king was pissed.

  “How am I different from any other ghost that is attached to a Vampire?” I needed to know the truth about my role in the future of his world.

  “Do we have to do this now?”

  Do we have to do this now? Is he serious?

  “I just watched the ruins of the vampire empire unfold during a three-day nap. Now, you are telling me that there is more to my involvement than you are willing to share. I am done playing games and I am sick and tired of being roped around here with the weirdest dreams. Pardon me if I think I have earned at least a fucking lie!”

  I could feel my anger starting to cloud my judgement. The closer he was to me, the stronger I felt. I couldn’t explain it and I didn’t know how else to deal with it. I wasn’t going to sit here and listen to him go on and on about a future that pertains to me but is none of my business. Going inside sounded perfect as I followed him up the stairs. He pushed the door open and stepped to the side, as if I needed the fucking door opened for me. I was a damn ghost.

  With anger on my shoulder and my pride on the floor, I didn’t allow him to fully move out of the doorway before passing through him.

  Before the pain filtered through my aura, I found myself breathless. Standing side by side, I reached up to Thaddeus out of instinct as his mouth hung open and the color drained from his face. I could feel the rush of warmth flow between us as I absorbed whatever he was giving. I couldn’t move when he needed me to the most. I tried to pull away but it was too much. I was a ghost, I thrive on the energy of my surroundings but this was different. This was a shot of adrenaline straight in to the heart being delivered at Thad’s expense. Before he hit his knees, he reached up with both hands and did something I haven’t felt in decades; he pushed me.
/>   I tripped over the entryway and fell to the floor. It wasn’t the soft kind of fall that I normally experience; this was a fall to the hardwood. No passing through, no dramatic trip, not even a flicker to my feet. I felt the bruise on my arm begin to throb as my body scrambled to stand up. Supporting my own weight was involuntary and I was voluntarily having to learn how to do it before I made a fool out of myself, again.

  “Ouch,” I winced as I touched my skin. I touched my own skin? “What is going on, Thad? This has never happened. You have walked through me a hundred times; this shit has never happened before.” I wasn’t backing down nor was I walking away. He was going to talk if I had to kill him myself.

  “You want to know what makes you so much more important than the others?” He stood, using the doorway to brace his weight. “You are one of the only ones left.” He looked to the ground defeated and struggling to gain his strength. I could see that whatever I just did, I drained him of what was keeping him together.

  “How? There were many of us. You told me that. Every vampire has a watcher, all of them.” I was confused and rambling, surprised that he was still listening.

  “Ashley, most of them did. This is a new world and the stake isn’t for power within the Vampire royalty,” he started as he gathered enough strength to stand up straight. “The weakness of every vampire is in the hands of their watcher. You are the reason that I am alive and I intend to keep you alive much longer than I. Now, can you not ever do that again, it hurt like hell.” He made his way in to the kitchen as I stood, staring at the back of his head.

  “That’s it? I have enough energy flowing through me to produce skin and you want me to let it go?” I wanted to grab any large object and show him what he is dealing with, but I know I would look like a fool trying to pick up anything at this point.

  With a heavy sigh, he finally looked in to my eyes, “I have no idea how you did what you just did. To be honest, it would’ve killed any other ghost. Let’s not do that again, okay?”